“Great job.”
Feels nice.
Changes little.
Real recognition is not flattery.
It is clear, earned, and useful.
It builds pride and repeats good work.
A short story
A manager praised with “amazing” and “awesome” all the time.
People smiled.
Nothing improved.
We switched to specific praise tied to results.
One line on the behavior.
One line on the impact.
One line on what to repeat.
Within a month quality rose.
People knew what to keep doing.
Why flattery fails
- It is vague.
- It praises traits, not effort or choices.
- It feels like a habit, not attention.
- It teaches nothing.
- It can feel fake.
Make recognition real and it turns into fuel.
The BEAM method
B — Behavior
Name exactly what they did.
E — Effect
Say the result or impact.
A — Appreciation
Thank them in plain words.
M — More of
Say what to repeat next time.
Use BEAM in 20 seconds.
Scripts you can copy
With a teammate
“Yesterday you paused and asked two clarifying questions before deciding. It saved us a rework. Thank you. Keep that pause and question set for high risk calls.”
With a direct report
“The summary you sent had the three outcomes, owners, and dates. It unblocked engineering this morning. I appreciate the clarity. Keep that structure in all weekly updates.”
With a cross-functional partner
“You joined our call for ten minutes and gave one decision. It removed a week of delay. Thanks for being direct. Please keep that fast decision path for this project.”
In public
“Shoutout to Priya for testing the handoff checklist with two customers. Errors dropped to zero this week. Thank you. Let us roll this checklist to the full team.”
By email
Subject: Thank you for X
“Your choice to share the draft early let us fix the story fast. That saved time and improved quality. Thank you. Please keep sending V1s by Tuesday.”
What to praise
- Clear thinking and simple writing
- Preparation before a meeting
- Small prototypes that reduce risk
- Calm decisions under pressure
- Asking for help early
- Fixing a mistake fast and sharing the lesson
- Helping a colleague succeed
Praise the process that creates results.
Your recognition checklist
- Is it specific
- Did I name the behavior
- Did I show the effect
- Did I thank in plain words
- Did I say what to repeat
If yes, it will land.
3 places to make recognition a habit
1) Start of team meetings
One minute. One real thank you.
2) End of day note
Write one line: who helped and how.
3) After decisions
Thank the person who made the decision clear and on time.
Small moments. Big effect.
Avoid these traps
- Personality praise: “You are a genius.”
Use behavior: “Your test plan found the edge cases.” - Stacked praise: five points at once.
Pick one. Make it sink in. - Sandwich method: praise, criticism, praise.
Keep recognition pure. Give improvement later and clean. - Delayed praise.
Give it close to the moment. - Private only.
Mix private thanks with public recognition. Ask what they prefer.
For managers
- Keep a simple recognition log. Three names per week.
- Tie praise to values and outcomes.
- Praise the quiet wins, not only the loud ones.
- Recognize progress, not just final results.
- Share credit upward and across teams.
Manager script
“Team, our cycle time dropped by 15 percent. That came from Jas’s checklists and Ravi’s decision notes. Thank you both. Let us use these on the next two projects.”
For peers
- Thank sideways, not only up or down.
- Call out help you received.
- Nominate a colleague for a small spotlight in the team channel.
- Use BEAM in chat. Keep it short.
Peer script
“Thanks for the quick Loom. It helped me fix the bug in ten minutes. I appreciate the speed. Please keep recording short context like that.”
For remote teams
- Create a weekly “Wins” thread.
- Use short Looms to show the work you are praising.
- Add a “What to repeat” line so others can copy the behavior.
- Pin the best examples in a shared doc.
Turn mistakes into respectful recognition
- “Thanks for flagging the error fast. Your note let us correct it within an hour. Keep raising issues early. It protects trust.”
You reward honesty and learning.
People bring problems sooner.
Make recognition inclusive
- Learn how each person likes to be recognized.
Public. Private. Written. Spoken. - Spread praise across the team.
- Credit collaborators, not only leads.
- Pronounce names right. Spell them right.
Respect is in the details.
A one-minute exercise for today
Write three BEAM notes now.
- Person:
- Behavior:
- Effect:
- Appreciation:
- More of:
Send at least one within the next hour.
Tiny action now
Open chat.
Thank one person for one specific behavior that moved work.
One line.
Send.
The bigger frame
Awareness notices real effort.
Leadership names it with care.
Execution repeats what works until it becomes culture.
Skip flattery.
Give recognition that teaches and lifts.
People grow. Results follow.